On my first day working at Disney World I went into the bathroom and accidentally smacked right into Snow White, and she went “Oh fuck!” and almost dropped her Red Bull and that was the beginning of the best job I’ve ever had.
On my first day I was walking and ran into Ariel drinking Starbucks and she said “What’s up bitches”
I want to work at Disney
i was looking up chicken noises to annoy my sister and now i can’t breathe
I STARTED PLAYING THIS IN THE CAR AND MY ENTIRE FAMILY TOLD ME TO “TURN IT OFF HAILEY” WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT
ITS 2 AM AND I AM DYING
- DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
- Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
- DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
- Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
- DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
- Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
- DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
- Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
- DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
- Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
- DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
- Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
- DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
- Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
- DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
- Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
- DC: Wait-
- Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
- DC: I didn't-
- Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
- Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
- Marvel: PEACE
Girls get mocked for liking high heels and lipstick. Girls get mocked for liking sports. Girls get mocked for liking tea and books. Girls get mocked for liking comics books and video games. Girls get mocked for liking math and science. Girls get mocked for liking boys. Girls get mocked for liking girls. Girls get mocked for liking both. What the fuck are we supposed to like? Water? Air? Come on, tell me. I’m dying to know.
Step back, peeps, and fasten your seat-belts. Time to bring in a puberty professional.
…. wait. That’s not right. Hold on.
Let’s fast-forward about five more years.
Ah, yes, there we go. Right after I sold my soul to Satan.
Naw son you can’t be hot in two genders you fucking cheated
this is my favorite post because its just people bragging about how hot they are
she had a tough time getting out of the block pit
IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN I A BLOCK PIT THEN YOU DONT KNWO THE FEAR. IT SUCKS YOU IN DEEPER AS YOU TRY TO MOVE. IT’S LIKE THE MUGGLE’S DEVIL’S SNARE MAN.
YOU HAVE TO USE ALL YOUR STRENGTH TO GET OUT OF THOSE FUCKERS
I HAVE BEEN IN ONE AND ITS LIKE SWIMMING IF YOU DON’T STOP MOVING YOU EITHER FLOAT OR SINK THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN
WE HAD THESE WHEN I USED TO BE IN GYMNASTICS AND I HATED THESE FUCKING THINGS THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME
I ONCE GOT STUCK AT THE BOTTOM OF ONE OF THESE AND WHEN PEOPLE CAME TO LOOK FOR ME, I GOT STEPPED ON TWICE
so when i was seven i got stuck at the bottom of one and i blacked out. apparently it took them 45 minutes to empty the pit enough to find me. my therapist believes this is why i have claustrophobia.
At least she’s face up. The worst is when you go in head first. I’ve been pulled out by my toes several times.
#FRIENDS I HAVE SOME ADVICE FOR YOU#DO NOT TRY TO WALK OR SWIM OUT OF A BLOCK PIT#GET YOURSELF HORIZONTAL#AND THEN ROLL OUT#IT WORKS JUST LIKE TANK TREADS GOING OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN#ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GET SOME TRACTION AND NOT GET SUCKED BACK IN
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST YOU UN-ATHLETIC FRICKERS
TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT
i feel like i missed something not going to school in the city
something went horribly wrong and dylan sprouse came out looking like a hot teen boy and cole’s crusty ass is out here lookin like a damn founding father of the united states
is it just me or did cole sprouse lowkey acknowledge my tumblr post